BRENNAN AND DALE!!

So this is Brennan Hoff and Dale Doback! We are really excited to tell you all about us becoming step brothers because over the past few months we have had quite a few exciting experiences hating each other. This blog is going to tell you our story of our journeys both together and apart as new things happen in our lives, this should be interesting!....Well I guess me and Brennan should both give our sides of the story before we ever met each other, so here we go.

(Brennan)

Well my name is Brennan Hoff and I am 39 years old and I live with my mom Nancy. I was recently fired from my job at PetSmart (who knew you weren’t allowed to take out the ferrets and dress them up?!?). I remember the day when mom came in the house and told me that she met some guy named Robert Doback and that they were going to get married, all I know is that I was so mad I ended up punching a hole in the wall that night….and the next day I went to the hospital for a broken pinkie, which sucks by the way.  Well, the day that my mom and Robert got married was pretty much the most depressing of my whole life, I sat all by myself the whole time and stared Dale down because I knew I was going to hate him….So, the day that me and mom went to go move in with Robert and Dale, I remember sitting in the car plotting ways I could torture Dale and get out of there as fast as I could. But that’s pretty much the end of my story alone, from then on its me and Dale together forever!

(Dale)

So here’s the deal, my name is Dale Doback and im 40 years old. I live with my dad Robert, I love playing Guitar Hero and I pretty much just sit at home all day long. Most of my story is pretty much the same as Brennan’s  except for punching a hole in the wall! How dumb can you get? Well I do remember the day I tried convincing dad that we should just let Brennan go live on his own because we could just “share” Nancy (he didn’t fall for it). The day Brennan and Nancy moved in I made it very clear that Brennan should NEVER touch my drums!!!

Well, I guess its time for me and Brennan to tell you guys our story together of being STEP BROTHERS!!!!! : )

How it all happened...

(Dale)

So our journey begins on the first night that Brennan and Nancy are staying at our house, we start having dinner and Brennan starts bragging about how good of a singer he is. It starts to annoy me so I tell to him to shut up and I start singing my AMAZING theme song!

(Brennan)

Then I make some awesome comment about me remembering my first beer, but then he has to be mean and I start crying because I cant take it anymore, so we both leave the table and he shows me to his room because we have to share a room…wow.  Later on, me and Dale lay in bed telling each other how much we hate each other

(Dale)

I tell Brennan how me and dad are pretty much using his mom for “personal reasons” although I know better than anyone that isn’t true. Well, a few days later we all go sailing together and I kick Brennan off the boat which was really funny!

(Brennan)

Well, to get Dale back I decide I’m going to paint a disgusting gash on Dales forehead and everyone looks at him weird…Now that’s funny! The next day, when Dale is gone I decide I’m going to go play his drum set, when I accidentally chip one of his drum sticks.

(Dale)

I get home that day and come to find out, Brennan is all sweaty on the couch, saying its because of COPS…Im smarter than that! So he gets this idea that hes going to rub his balls all over my drum set, which makes me mad so we get into a huge fight out in the front yard.  We start throwing stuff at each other and eventually we both hit each other in the head, I hit Brennan with a baseball bat and he nails me with a golf club!!! Later that day dad and Nancy tell me and Brennan that we have a month to get a job and move out or else ( we also got grounded from the T.V. during Shark Week!).

(Brennan)

The only thing I hated more than Dale at this point was my older brother Derek, hes rich and successful and stuck up…I hate him. Well mom decides it’s a good idea to invite him over for dinner one night and that makes me mad so halfway through us eating me and Dale go out to his tree house to sulk. Derek thinks he’s cool so he follows us out there and brags about his abs, and Dale threatens to punch him in the face, although Derek doesn’t believe he will, HE PUNCHES HIM! It was awesome and I had discovered new found trust in Dale!

(Dale)

I felt so good after I punched him in the face! Me and Brennan took our own little test to find out if we were really best friends, turns out, we are pretty much EXACTLY the same! Ever since then, we both do karate in the garage together and we have been inseperable best friends : )

Sabotage!

(Brennan)

Hey guys! Heres a story to tell you all…The other day when we were walking home from our interviews Robert set us up on, I decided it would be a good idea to walk down this alleyway for a shortcut but Dale didn’t want to go because there was a “bully” down that way. I forced Dale to go that way anyways because I didn’t want to go the long way, turns out the “bully” was this little kid with all his little grade school friends who made us lick dried up DOG POOP!!!! Yeah I guess you can say that was an interesting experience that sucked.

(Dale)

When we got home from the interviews, Derek walked out of the kitchen and started bragging that he had put our house on the market and that it would be sold soon. Dad gave me and Brennan money to put a down payment on an apartment and got us both therapists *ugh*. So a few days later we were scaring all the people away that tried to buy our house because WE DIDN’T WANT TO SELL IT!!! We dressed Brennan up as a dead guy in a shower curtain, we even pretended to be KKK members.

Thing aren't really going so good...

(Brennan)

Okay, so about 2 months ago was Derek’s birthday party, when me and Dale decided to show Robert our music video that we made so that we can get investors for our company. So our video was called Boats and Ho’s and Robert didn’t know it, but we filmed it on his boat (we thought this was a pretty good idea, although he didn’t…) and ended up crashing it into a bunch of rocks at the end of the video. On the way home Robert pretty much lost it on us and we got into a huge argument which wasn’t very good!

(Dale)

 Well yesterday was Christmas Eve, but it wasn’t a very good day for our family, for one Derek and his family came over, but we were all stressed out. Dad decided he was going to go out and cool off and go the Cheesecake Factory. When dad came back home at like 2 in the morning, him and Nancy got into a huge fight. Me and Brennan were sleep walking and ended up taking all the presents and even the Christmas tree and putting them into Dad and Nancy’s room. Dad got all mad at us and though it would be a good idea to wake us up, which was not a good idea after all. In our confusion of being woken up, we pushed Dad down the stairs ( NOT GOOD!) So earlier Nancy and Dad told us that they were going to get a divorce and move out and that apparently the reasoning for this is that it’s all our fault… 

THE END

(Dale)

Okay so here’s the deal everybody, me and Brennan know that we haven’t posted anything in a while but that’s because we have had so much going on. We have decided that this is going to be our last post : (…and we are going to catch you guys all up on what has happened so far in our crazy lives, so here we go…

(Brennan)

So the day after mom and Robert announced they were getting a divorce, me and Dale stayed the night in the house by ourselves for one last time (mom and Robert moved out that day). Dale and I got into a fight and ended up attempting to kill each other, I hit Dale in the head with a shovel tried to bury him alive, we both pass out in the front yard after a while and wake up in the morning and decide to separate for good.

(Dale)

So I got a job in the Catering Business and Brennan got a job working with Derek at the helicopter company. Brennan convinced Derek to let him host the Catalina Wine Mixer and we got together with a plan to get dad and Nancy back together ( since they would both have to be there). So Brennan hires a sucky band to play that gets booed off the stage so I decide to step up and play the drums for everyone and Brennan gets up there with me and starts singing, and his beautiful singing brings dad and Nancy back together!

(Brennan)

So a few a months after the Catalina Wine mixer, we are having dinner with Derek’s family and he apologizes to me! We all eventually get along with each other and I get a new girlfriend, my therapist. Dale finally tells Alice that they can’t be together. Me and Dale become very successful in our karaoke business. After we get done eating our dinner, mom and Robert tell me and Dale that there’s a surprise outside waiting for us and we all run outside to see what it is. Turns out, Robert had taken his crashed up boat and put it in the tree in the backyard for a tree house. When we got in the tree house they had put more presents inside like Chewbacca masks, playboys, and pirate hats! Even Derek and his kids got to have fun in the tree house with us!

(Brennan & Dale)

Well, this is the end of our story from this point on, we have other things we need to do now. We need to move on and live our lives but thank you everyone for listening to our dumb lives!!!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!